Best Job Application Ever

Usually, I try to use this space to talk about deep, meaningful subjects (or something). But every once in awhile I think there's room for a little levity. I happened to be digging around some files and happened upon a real gem I figured I should share. I almost submitted it to thedailywtf.com, but decided:

"Why the hell should I give them *my* content for free?"

Anyway, a few years back I was still just a lowly developer. We were swamped with work and desperate to find Perl developers. There was an alias set up for incoming job applications. One of the ones that came had this cover letter:

I am interested in a position in Computers and Technology in Research and Development with your company. I do possess many technological positions with scientific advancements and discoveries and skills that are not listed on my application and resume with some older employers. I am interested in developing novel technology for your corporation that is outranking outside of every text book and that is not taught at any university, company, or federal agency. My computer is the first computer on the Internet powering the entire Universe over thin air, which consists of optical motherboards, optical RAM, optical hard drives, optical processors, and automorphing anti-viral biological-plasmas replacing the solid-state nuclear magnetic computer. Some of my inventions are:

Optical Biological Digital Computers & Components Hyper Drives [FTL] [Faster Than Light] Warp Drives [FTL] [Faster Than Light] Time Machines [Direct & Real-Time] Biological Atomic Clocks [Direct & Real-Time] Liquid-Crystal Quantum Mechanics & Biological Continuum Liquid-Crystal Astrophysics Liquid-Crystal Physics Liquid-Crystal Mathematics [Differential Equations] Liquid-Crystal Science Liquid-Crystal Astronomy Liquid-Crystal Programming Liquid-Crystal Data Storage Liquid-Crystal Universe Mapping Liquid-Crystal Time Travel Liquid-Crystal High-Energy Cold Fusion [######] Liquid-Crystal Civil Defense Computer Systems Liquid-Crystal Cyber Health Care Liquid-Crystal Experimental Computers & Components Liquid-Crystal Nanobots and Nanotechnology

I am interested in starting as soon as possible. Please don't hesitate to contact myself at (###) ###-####. It will certainly be a pleasure in meeting as well as working with you. Please consider me a candidate for employment with your company.

Sadly, we did *not* interview this guy. Some thought it was a joke. I'm more inclined to think it was someone who was completely delusional and off his meds. But, hey, maybe the guy was totally legit. We may have missed out on a computer 'powering the entire Universe over thin air'. Crap!!!